Demotivational Images

Praise Remember That a Kick in the Ass Is a Step Forward	May-2008
Acceptance In Some Cultures What I Do Would Be Considered Normal	April-2008
Satisfaction A Job Worth Doing Is Worth Complaining About	March-2008
Calm If You Can Keep Your Head When All Around You Has Lost Theirs You Haven't Really Appreciated The Situation	February-2008
Winners Quitters Never Win, Winners Never Quit. But Those Who Never Quit And Never Win Are Idiots.	January-2008
Perseverance Hang In There Retirement Is Only 30 Years Away	January-2006
Estimate Never Underestimate The Power Of Stupid People In Large Groups	January-2006
Success Mistakes Are Often The Stepping Stones To Failure	December-2005
Confidence I'm Dangerous When I Know What I'm Doing	December-2005
Winning The Difference Between Winning And Whinning Is A Big Fat H	November-2005
Belief How Can Something Seem So Plausible At The Time And So Idiotic In Restrospect?	November-2005
Teamwork Teamwork Means Never Having To Take The Blame Yourself	October-2005
Security Doing A Job Right The FirstTtime Gets The Job Done Doing A Job Wrong Fourteen Times Gives You Job Security	October-2005
Hope False Hope Is Better Than No Hope At All	September-2005
Disgrace Pain is Temporary Shame is Forever	September-2005
Committment The Layoffs Will Continue Until Morale Improves	August-2005
Truth If Work Was So Good The Rich Would Have Kept More For Themlselves	August-2005
Challenge A Problem Shared Is A Problem Halved, So Is Your Problem Really Yours Or Only Half Of Someone Elses?	July-2005
Insanity You Don't Have To Be Mad To Work Here In Fact We Ask You To Complete A Medical Questionnaire To Ensure That You Are Not	July-2005
Procrastination Never Put Off Until Tomorrow What You Can Avoid Altogether	June-2005
Intelligence Artificial Intelligence is no match for Natural Stupidity	June-2005
Progress When You Are Standing on the Edge of a Cliff a Step Forward Is Not Progress	May-2005
Exceptions There Is an Exception to Every Rule, and Most People Think They Are It	May-2005
Despondency I Started Out With Nothing And Still Have Most Of It Left	April-2005
Frustration If Assholes Could Fly This Place Would Be A Freaking Airport	April-2005
Trust Most people tend to underestimate the weasels and overestimate the eagles	March-2005
Betrayal Have An Adequate Day	March-2005
Justice I Am Grateful That I Am Not As Judgmental As All Those Censorious, Self-righteous People Around Me	February-2005
Reliability Murphy's Law Is One Of The Few Constants Of The Universe So Learn To Live With It	February-2005
Dedication When The Going Gets Tough The Tough Get Coffee	January-2005
Effort Go That Extra Mile. It Will Make Your Boss Look Like An Incompetent Slacker	January-2005
Effort Plagiarism Saves Time	December-2004
Efficiency Rome Did Not Create A Great Empire By Having Meetings. They Did It By Killing Everyone Who Opposed Them.	December-2004
Agreement I'll Try To Be Nicer, If You'll Try To Be Smarter	November-2004
Teamwork Everyone doing what I say	November-2004
Wisdom Life Is Like a Box of Chocolates; You Never Know When You'll Find a Nut	October-2004
Teamwork It's the team that matters. Where would The Beatles be without Ringo? If John got Yoko to play drums the history of music would be completely different.	October-2004
Paperwork Make good use of your cylindrical filing unit, the one you mainly keep under your desk	September-2004
Ability Process and Procedure are the last hiding place of people without the wit and wisdom to do their job properly	September-2004
Service This Office Is Like The Army I Am The General You Are The Soldiers The Customer Is The Enemy	August-2004
Support You Have To Be 100% Behind Someone Before You Can Stab Them In The Back	August-2004
Dedication I No Longer Need to Punish, Deceive, or Compromise Myself. Unless I Want to Stay Employed.	July-2004
Flexibility Blessed Are the Flexible for They Can Tie Themselves Into Knots	July-2004
Frustration By The Time You Can Make Ends Meet, They Move the Ends	June-2004
Panic If It Weren't for the Last Minute, Nothing Would Get Done	June-2004
Satisfaction At Least You Will Always Have The Satisfaction That You Will Serve As A Bad Example For Others	May-2004
Monday Some Days It Doesn't Pay To Get Out Of Bed	May-2004
Direction Find Your Aim In Life Before You Run Out Of Ammunition	April-2004
Hope Every Morning Is The Dawn Of A New Bug	April-2004
Teamwork Any New Venture Goes Through the Following Stages: Enthusiasm, Complication, Disillusionment, Search for the Guilty, Punishment of the Innocent and Decoration of Those Who Did Nothing	March-2004
Skill Accomplishing the Impossible Means Only the Boss Will Add It to Your Regular Duties	March-2004
Limitations Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition results in a promotion to a job you can't do.	February-2004
Attitude If you're gonna be late, then be late. Not just 2 minutes - make it an hour and enjoy your breakfast	February-2004
Depression If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail	January-2004
Genius Those of you who think you know everything are annoying to those of us who do	January-2004
Honesty Set out to leave the first vapour trail in the blue-sky scenario	December-2003
Sustain Statistics are like a lamp post to a drunken man. More for leaning on that illumination.	December-2003
Reality Is your work done? All pigs fed, watered and ready to fly?	December-2003
Luck Avoid employing unlucky people. Throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them.	December-2003
Respect If you treat the people around you with respect, they will never guess that you're trying to stab them in the back	November-2003
Success If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried	November-2003
I There's no 'I' in 'team'. But then there's no 'I' in 'useless smug colleague'either. And there's four in 'platitude-quoting idiot'. Go figure.	November-2003
Failure Failures are divided in two classes: Those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought.	November-2003
Planning Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part	October-2003
Solutions When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, ""How would the Lone Ranger handle this?""	October-2003
Dedication I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it was just some bastard with a torch, bringing me more work	October-2003
Validation Every time you open your mouth you have this wonderful ability to continually confirm what I think	October-2003
Despondency Put The Key Of Despair Into The Lock Of Apathy Turn The Knob Of Mediocrity Slowly And Open The Gates Of Despondency Welcome To A Day In The Average Office	September-2003
Acceptance Accept That Some Days You Are The Pigeon And Some Days You Are The Statue	September-2003
Teamwork There is no I in team, but if you look hard enough you can find a ME	September-2003
Ability Remember that age and treachery will always triumph over youth and ability	September-2003
Goals Goals Are Not Only Supposed To Motivate Us They Are Essential To Declare Our Failure	August-2003
Scapegoat A Good Scapegoat Is Nearly As Welcome As A Solution To The Problem	August-2003
Achievement It's Lonely At The Top, But You Eat Better	August-2003
Persistence Just When You Think You've Won The Rat Race Along Come Faster Rats	August-2003
Infallibility The Sign Of Greatness Is Not Necessarily Infallibility But The Ability To Weasel Out Of Being Caught	July-2003
Collaboration Never Try To Help A Lame Duck Over A Fence They'll Crap In Your Hand Every Time	July-2003
Teamwork The Inability Of A Team Has A Greater Impact Than The Sum Of The Inabilities Of Each Team Member	July-2003
Superiority I Will Find Humor In My Everyday Life By Looking For People I Can Laugh At	July-2003
Thrashed If you're not top dog, you're its fire hydrant	June-2003
Intimidated A coward dies a thousand time before his death. A brave man once. Your day has only just started and you're up to 999.	June-2003
Hopelessness There's a light at the end of the tunnel, unless it's an oncoming train	June-2003
Attitude Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines	June-2003
Anticipation Preparation is staying one step ahead of punishment	May-2003
Disappointment Some days it's better to set your expectations low. Today is one of those days.	May-2003
Hope Now that I gave up hope I feel much better	May-2003
Frustration The harder you try the more you fail	May-2003
Reality There's No Such Thing As Equal Division Of Labour. Even If You Bring Home The Bacon, Do The Cooking, Protect The Household, You'll Still Get Saddled With Kids And The Laundry.	April-2003
Leadership The Three Stages Of Denial - Not Me, Not Yet, Not That Bad.	April-2003
Individuality You know many reasons why you are not like all the others. You just can't think of any right this moment...	April-2003
Position You will always end up in the shit. Only the depth changes.	April-2003
Love Get your love some roses. There is nothing more romantic than the gift of the decaying, severed sexual organs of plants grown in mounds of cow manure.	March-2003
Success Enjoy your moment in the spotlight. It won't last long!	March-2003
Weekend The rain clouds are moving in. It must be the weekend again.	March-2003
Leadership Where the hell do you want to go today?	March-2003
Beauty Every second person is uglier than the average. Chances are, you're one of them.	February-2003
Insignificance Trillions of stars in the universe. Billions of people on earth. So what difference do you make?	February-2003
Religion Wasn't the Bible written by the same people who said the Earth was flat?	February-2003
Life You are going to die. Really!	February-2003
Challenge If you can't beat them, shoot them from a distance	January-2003
Patience Climb the fucking pole, you witless shit	January-2003
Success Success is like fragile crystal. You'll watch it fall through your hands and shatter on the floor.	January-2003
Ambition You will never be famous	January-2003
Ambition It's Hard To Rise To The Top When You're At The Bottom Of The Food Chain	December-2002
Cursed Life Has A Habit Of Being Unfair - Get Used To It	December-2002
Perception Delusional Thoughts Makes The Pain Go Away	December-2002
Scapegoat The Secret To Success Is Knowing Who To Blame	December-2002
Annihilated In Life You Are Either The Lawnmower Or The Grass - Today Someone Is Cutting Your Grass	November-2002
Crushed Your Hopes And Dreams Are Like A Beautiful Daisy - Until Someone Stomps On It	November-2002
Heartbreak Some Things In Life Aren't Meant To Be - For You It's Winning	November-2002
Regret There Are Things In Your Life You Wish You Could Take Back - Until The Time Machine Is Invented Deal With It	November-2002
Happiness Joy May Be Fleeting But Doubt And Self-Loathing Are Lifelong Companions	October-2002
Subsistence Never Argue With A Cat When It Comes To Food. They Are Quicker, Smarter And Have A Lot More Weaponry	October-2002
Success Success Always Occurs In Private And Failure In Full View	October-2002
Suicide It's A Perfect Day To Throw Back Your Head And Kiss It All Goodbye	October-2002
Envy Check out that car. Don't you wish you had a big one like that? It would be nice to be rich wouldn't it? They probably have everything, great house, nice skin and no dandruff either. Do you hate them now? Go on, run your keys down their paintwork.	September-2002
Gluttony Who's up for lunch right now? What? It's only 10 o'clock. Do you have $2 for the snack machine.? Check your pockets now, other people's pockets, their desks. I need chocolate right now, or chips. That will take my mind off it. What's for dinner?	September-2002
Greed Don't forget the real reason you work here. It's not about the quality of job , or whether you're here at 8:00am. It's not about the success of the project and whether you'll meet the deadline. It's about money. Cash. Dosh. Dollars. That's why you're here.	September-2002
Lust Your time is up. You have been waiting for the right time to go over to that person and plead with them to hump you like a beast possessed. Well that time is now. Right now. Now, now, now. There is no later. Only now	September-2002
Pride It's tough being the best looking and smartest person in the office. Not to mention your perfect teeth and stylish hair. You're witty, charming and loaded too. You have everything to be proud of. Do what anybody else in your shoes would do. Go rub their faces in it.	September-2002
Sloth Hey, what's your hurry? It's not like your doing anything will save this ship from sinking anyway. Now would be a good time to put your feet up on the desk and relax. Just sit there. Head back, staring at the ceiling, dreaming. Dreaming of being on an island, on the beach, anywhere but here.	September-2002
Wrath On days like this it takes an angry, angry person to set things right. You could try being polite and tactful, but where would that get you? They'll just screw it all up again. It's time to act. Tell your boss. Thump on their desk and demand that your way is the best way. You'll feel better. Unemployed, but better.	September-2002
Collaboration A Friend Is Just A Stranger You Haven't Alienated Yet	August-2002
Love You Can't Force Love - Just Stalk Them Until They Give In	August-2002
Performance You Are Depriving A Village Somewhere Of An Idiot	August-2002
Progress Every Minute Brings You That Much Closer To Death	August-2002
Revenge Never Get A Girl Mad. Especially If She Is Armed, PMS-ing And A Cyborg	July-2002
Dismissed You Are So Fired	July-2002
Envy The Best Things In Life Are Owned By Someone Else	July-2002
Failure If At First You Don't Succeed - Quit	July-2002
Busted It's Not What It Looks Like, But Who's Going To Believe You	June-2002
Crash You May Have The Organic Brain And Opposable Thumbs But When IT Goes Down You're Helpless	June-2002
Frustration Real Men Don't Ask Directions. Ever. It's Genetic. It Pisses Women Off. Which Is The Reason They Do It.	June-2002
Principles It's Not The Principle That Keeps You Going It's The Money That They Pay You	June-2002
Stupidity Standing Out In The Open In The Middle Of A Gun Fight Will Almost Always Result In Death û Yours	May-2002
Future Failure Is Your Future	May-2002
Apology OK, OK, I Take It Back. UnScrew You	May-2002
Goals If You Don't Set Goals For Your Employees That Are High Enough, You Will Pay For That Mistake With Bonuses	May-2002
Success To Succeed You Must Fly Above Everyone, Swooping Down Only To Destroy And Consume Your Prey	April-2002
Vision Any Vision Can Be Achieved If You Have Enough Slaves	April-2002
Vision When You Search For The Stars, There Is A Greater Chance Of A Bird Shitting In Your Face	April-2002
Perseverance It's Always Darkest Before The Storm	April-2002
Wisdom There Are No Stupid Questions Only Stupid People	March-2002
Motivation The Squeaky Wheel Gets The Sack	March-2002
Dedication This Isn't An Office, It's Hell With Fluorescent Lighting	March-2002
Management Chaos, Panic & Disorder, My Work Here Is Done	March-2002