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Waste some time
Have a donut and some coffee
While you are supposed to be working

Ponder this

1. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
2. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
3. Why do women wear evening gowns to go out at night? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?
4. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
5. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread.
6. When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
7. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?
8. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
9. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
10. If horrific is akin to horrible, why isn't terrific akin to terrible?
11. Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
12. Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
13. Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure?
14. Why do you park in a driveway and drive in a parkway?
15. Why are there locks on the door of stores that are open 24/7 365 days a year?
16. Why are there Braille dots on a drive-through ATM keypad?
17. Why does a ship carry cargo, and a car carry shipments?
18. Why do doctors call what they do practice? Shouldn't they be good at it by now?
19. Why does cleave mean both to adhere and separate?
20. If you got in a cab and the driver drove backwards would he end up owing you money?
21. Why do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight?
22. When someone says "You know what they say..." Who are they?
23. What happens if you drive at the speed of light and turn your head lights on?
24. If you throw a cat out your car window does it become kitty litter?
25. Sean Fitzpatrick, but does Patrick fit Sean?
26. street sign: "To the Braille Institute". Who's it for?
27. If corn oil comes from corn and olive oil comes from olives, where the heck does baby oil come from?
28. If you spin an oriental man, does he become disoriented?
29. Why do we call it a hamburger when it is made from beef?
30. Why do people in Alaska buy white cars?
31. Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
32. If you choke a Smurf, what colour does it turn?
33. If you're in France and you order toast, do you get toast or French toast?
34. Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
35. Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
36. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
37. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
38. Is there another word for synonym?
39. If a cow laughs, does milk come out it's nose?
40. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
41. If nothing sticks to Teflon, then how do they make it stick to the pan?
42. If a turtle loses its shell is it naked or homeless?
43. Why don't psychics predict the winning lottery numbers and retire?
44. If you hate all prejudice people, are you a hypocrite?
45. Why do they call them apartments, when they're all together?
46. Who was the idiot that decided to put an "s" in the word lisp?
47. Why is the word for "a fear of long words" so long? (Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia)
48. Where does your lap go when you stand up?
49. If instant oatmeal is instant, then why does it take 1 to 2 minutes to cook in the microwave?
50. You can be overwhelmed and under whelmed, but why can't you be simply whelmed?
51. Why is it that when the batteries in your remote control wear out you just push the buttons harder?
52. Can fat people go skinny dipping?
53. Why do they use artificial lemon juice in bottled lemon juice and use real lemon juice in dish soap?
54. Why don't they make the entire airplane out of the same material that the indestructible black box is made of?
55. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
56. If a cannibal ate a clown, would it taste funny?
57. If you try to fail, and you fail, have you succeeded or failed?
58. Why are boxing rings square?
59. If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests?
60. Shouldn't the opposite of shut up be shut down?
61. Why do you always find things in the last place you looked?
62. Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
63. Why is phonetically not pronounced phonetically?
64. If I dreamed of being chased by a giant squirrel would that make me a nut?
65. Why do people order a super-sized Big Macâ„¢ meal with a Diet Coke?
66. Why do people have worthless junk in the garage and leave their expensive car in the driveway?
67. Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
68. When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
69. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
70. Why is abbreviation such a long word?
71. Why do they call it a building? It looks like they are finished Why isn't it a built?
72. If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
73. Did you ever wonder why kamikaze pilots wore helmets?
74. Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
75. Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?
76. Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
77. How do a fool and his money get together in the first place?
78. How do you know when its time to tune your bagpipes?
79. How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?
80. If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?
81. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
82. Why do banks charge you a "insufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?
83. If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
84. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
85. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
86. What are Preparation A through Preparation G?
87. In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
88. How come there aren't B batteries?
89. How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?
90. Is a metaphor like a simile?
91. Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
92. How is it possible to have a civil war?
93. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
94. If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?
95. Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
96. If crime doesn't pay does that mean that my job is a crime?
97. Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
98. How can there be self-help "groups"?
99. How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
100. How do you throw away a garbage can?
101. How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?
102. How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
103. If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
104. Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
105. Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
106. Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?
107. How do you remove a club soda stain?
108. What if the Hokey Pokey IS what its all about?
109. When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
110. What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
111. How do blind people know when they are done wiping their behinds?
112. If practice makes perfect, and no one is perfect, why bother practice?
113. If hunting season means you can kill animals, and fishing season means you can catch fish, what is the tourist season?
114. Why do people sing "Take me out to the ball game" when they are already
115. there?
116. How do hearing aid companies expect potential customers to hear their commercials?
117. When a fly lands on the ceiling, does it do a half roll or a half loop?
118. Why is there neither pine nor apple in pineapple?
119. Why does the arcade game "Donkey Kong" have a monkey? Why isn't it called Monkey Kong?
120. Why do lumberjacks cut trees down and then chop them up?
121. What's the deal with Grapenuts? They're neither grape nor nuts.
122. How do people get discombobulated? Have you ever seen someone who was combobulated?
123. If we call people from Poland poles why don't we call people from Holland holes?
124. If a rabbit's foot was actually lucky, wouldn't it still be attached to the rabbit's leg?
125. Why does Goofy talk and wear clothes while Pluto barks naked?
126. If you wanted to mummify a fly, would you use dental floss?
127. If the husband dies, the wife is called a widow, if a child's parents die, it is called an orphan. Why isn't there a word for a parent that loses a child?
128. Why do they call it baby-sitting when all you do is run after them?
129. Why is it called American football when they rarely use their feet to play?
130. Why do you put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?
131. What if there were no hypothetical situations?
132. Why does an alarm clock said to go "off" when it actually turns on?
133. Why are they stairs inside but steps outside?
134. Why does pizza come in a square box?
135. How does a fish sleep?
136. Why are feet smelly and noses runny?
137. Why does Mickey Mouse wear pants and no shirt while Donald Duck wears a shirt and no pants?
138. If you sued a parsley farmer could you garnish his wages?
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