Mother-in-law ... Woman Hitler

Motorway service station ... I eat coronary vomit stews

Benson and Hedges ... NHS been godsend

Mel Gibson ... Big melons

Gloria Estefan ... Large fat noise

Irritable Bowel Syndrome ... O my terrible drains below

The Morse code ... Here comes dots

Eleven plus two ... twelve plus one

Semolina ... is no meal

A decimal point ... I'm a dot in place

Martina Navratilova ... Variant rival to a man