The parachute company says you'll get a full refund.

They say the house didn't float very far at all.

We're all amazed that you go on living each day.

Well, at least the operation was a partial success.

The "National Enquirer" just loved those nude shots of you.

The insects hardly touched your other eyebrow.

The District Attorney says he only has a few more questions.

At least the passenger side air bag inflated.

Jenny Jones wants you for this "secret admirer show."

The reward for your capture has reached fifty thousand dollars.

At least we never thought you were guilty like that Jury did.

The insurance pays the full book value ($312) for your 1956 T-Bird.

The thieves left the push lawn mower and hedge trimmers.

Those Grand Juries always over-react. Don't worry about it.

The boss said while you're sick, he'd do all your work personally.

Just imagine if you're ex-wife had had a good lawyer.

Look on the bright side, those fertility drugs worked 6 times better than expected!