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Diced Carrot Syndrome

The phenomenon known as 'Diced Carrot Syndrome' has been in existence since the dawn of man. For centuries this great scientific mystery has remained unsolved. However, until the advent of alcohol consumption, this little known phenomenon did not cause mankind any real concern. In modern society we have seen large increases in the consumption of this strange alcohol substance, and with it has come an increase in the occurrence of 'Diced Carrot Syndrome'.
After a great deal of experimentation and personal risk of alcohol poisoning, scientists have now discovered that there is a direct correlation between 'Diced Carrot Syndrome' and the amount of alcohol consumed. After many hours in a detoxification unit they came up with the following formula

Man + Alcohol = Strange liquid substance + Carrot

It has also been noted that although carrot may not have been ingested for several months by subjects, the above result still holds true, given the right hand side of the formula 'Man + Alcohol' is present.

These startling results lead us to ask the question 'where does the carrot like substance come from?'. After several more years of experimentation by scientists, together with large amounts of liver and kidney damage amongst subjects. A new and revolutionary theory has been put forward to explain this strange phenomenon. It has now been discovered that the carrot substance is produced by a previously undiscovered gland known as the 'Carrot Gland'. The discovery of this once dormant gland, which is known to be stimulated by the consumption of large amounts of alcohol, has been surrounded by controversy and disbelief within the scientific community.

The gland tends to be at its most active during the evening and early morning periods and especially during parties, so that should a subject feel the need to display their lunch on the floor to the rest of the party revelers, there will be an adequate supply of carrot to produce the required result. In this way, the 'Carrot Gland' is a very efficient body organ, producing carrot in anticipation of the bodies requirements.

After exhaustive studies, conclusive evidence has now been presented, which has quietened the voices of the most ardent critics of the 'Carrot Gland' theory. Through the production of irrefutable evidence ( in the form of copious amounts of resultant carrot substance along the main thorough fairs, after many late night parties ) another great mystery of life has been solved.
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