As required by state law, I am legally obligated to include, in all electronic communications, notification that I am a registered sex crime offender.
A

Don't believe a word I type. I am simply attempting to stir up trouble. Anything written here that is true is purely coincidental.
B

Please feel free to include me in any mailing list you feel appropriate, especially those that lean towards bestiality and scat.
B

John Smith. Proud member of NAMBLA.
B

With an IQ of less than 55, you can safely consider me a moron.
C

For magazines containing pictures of the goat felching, underaged, shaved sheep taking it up the ass from overweight bald guys with shriveled penises and pierced nipple man-boobs please email me.
C